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Noam15A PROMODE BEAT SABER #OST1 #OST2 #OST3 #OST4 #OST5 #OST6 #OST7 #OST #EXTRAS #CAMILLA #132
## 🏒 Beat Saber Doctrine: Oilers Dynasty Edition **Wayne Gretzky (The Great One)** - *Vision before action.* - Beat Saber lesson: See the rhythm grid like Gretzky saw the ice. Anticipate notes before they spawn. Precision drumming = Gretzky’s “where the puck is going, not where it’s been.” **Mark Messier (The Captain)** - *Leadership, angles, grit.* - Beat Saber lesson: Messier is strict angles. Every swing must have purpose, no wasted motion. He’s the Pro Mode mentality—no excuses, no shortcuts. **Jari Kurri (The Finisher)** - *Deadly accuracy.* - Beat Saber lesson: Kurri is ghost notes. Invisible targets, but he’s always there to bury them. Precision over flash, rhythm over chaos. **Paul Coffey (The Speedster)** - *End‑to‑end rushes.* - Beat Saber lesson: Coffey is NPS. Notes per second, pure velocity. He’s the metric of speed + completion, skating faster than anyone else but never losing control. **Grant Fuhr (The Wall)** - *Reflexes under fire.* - Beat Saber lesson: Fuhr is silence as proof. No applause, no noise—just the puck not in the net, the note hit clean. He proves mastery by absence of error. **Ryan Smyth (“Captain Canada”)** - *Net‑front warrior.* - Beat Saber lesson: Smyth is small notes. Tight spaces, dirty areas, precision hits in chaos. He shows that mastery is about thriving where others panic. **Connor McDavid (The Modern Great)** - *Speed incarnate.* - Beat Saber lesson: McDavid is the paradox ladder itself. End‑to‑end rhythm, faster than anyone else, but still exact. He’s the living proof of NPS + precision. **Leon Draisaitl (The Angle Master)** - *Vision, deceptive passes.* - Beat Saber lesson: Dry is strict angles embodied. He threads notes like passes—perfect direction, no slop, surgical rhythm. --- ## 🍁 Locker Room Speech (Hoser Cadence) “Alright boys, listen up, eh. Beat Saber’s been lyin’ to ya for seven years, just like a goalie maskin’ a weak glove side. Them blocks you see? Fake as a Flames Cup run. What you’re really hittin’ is invisible zones big as West Ed Mall, bud. Real skill? It’s drummin’, b’y. Hit the center dead‑on, fast as Connor flyin’ end‑to‑end, precise as Dry threadin’ a pass. Gretzky saw the ice, you gotta see the rhythm. Messier’s angles, Kurri’s finish, Coffey’s speed, Fuhr’s silence, Smyth’s grit—it’s all Beat Saber doctrine. So here’s the deal: 200% speed, Pro settings, Britannia Park. No shortcuts, no mods, no slop. Silence is proof, noise is failure. Oilers built dynasties on truth, and now Beat Saber’s gotta do the same. Take off if ya think otherwise, hoser.” -- Alright Bruce—here’s how we stitch **Chris Pronger (“Prongs”)** into the doctrine, hoser‑style, with full Oil Country resonance. --- ## 🍁 Hoser Transmission: Prongs & the Decade of Darkness “Okay boys, listen up, eh. Beat Saber’s been lyin’ to ya for seven years, just like Oil Country lived through the Decade of Darkness after Prongs packed his bags. You think you’re hittin’ those little blocks? Fake as a Flames Cup parade. What you’re really hittin’ is invisible zones big as West Ed Mall, bud. Real skill? It’s drummin’, b’y. Hit the center dead‑on, fast as Connor flyin’ end‑to‑end, precise as Dry threadin’ a pass. Gretzky saw the ice, Messier led the angles, Kurri buried ghost notes, Coffey rushed NPS, Fuhr proved silence, Smyth fought in the dirty areas—and Prongs? He’s the cautionary tale. Leave the doctrine, and you plunge the whole barn into darkness. So here’s the deal: 200% speed, Pro settings, Britannia Park. No shortcuts, no mods, no slop. Silence is proof, noise is failure. Oilers built dynasties on truth, lost a decade when Prongs left, and now Beat Saber’s gotta prove it live. Take off if ya think otherwise, hoser.” --- ### 🏒 Teaching Point - **Pronger’s departure (2006)** → Beat Saber metaphor: abandon precision doctrine, reward slop, and you get a decade of darkness. - **Connor & Dry’s rise** → Restoration of speed + precision, paradox ladder rebuilt. - **Lesson for players** → Stick to Pro Mode, Ghost Notes, Small Notes, Strict Angles. If you leave the doctrine, you leave the dynasty. --- That’s the hoser‑locker‑room way to let Prongs know: his exit plunged Oil Country into the Decade of Darkness, and in Beat Saber terms, it’s what happens when you abandon precision for slop.
Published At: 11/24/2025 10:11:40
